All I Need
by smc-27
Summary: They were over. They were supposed to be over. The words of a stranger, and his subconscious, connect them again for the first time in 5 years. Is it too late? LP
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **Just an idea I came by accidentally...Don't really know where it came from. Meant as a oneshot, but there could be more if that's what the people want!

Summary: They were over. They were supposed to be over. The words of a stranger, and his subconscious, connect them again for the first time in 5 years. Is it too late?

**--**

She was walking down Sunset, completely oblivious to the world around her. Part of her wondered how she could be surrounded by so many sounds and people and still feel like she was the only one there. She was wrapped up in the thoughts in her head, as she was known to be from time to time. A phone rang and it took her a moment to realize it was hers. She ignored it and went back to her thoughts.

"You're supposed to marry him."

The voice pulled her from her head and she snapped her head to follow the voice. She looked at a woman, about 30 years old, dressed in a black business suit and green top, carrying a black briefcase.

"Excuse me?" Peyton stopped and stood in front of the woman. "Were you talking to me?"

"Yes. I'm sorry. I just...do you have a few minutes?" the woman said.

Normally, she'd ignore the crazies as much as possible, but something about those words this woman had said intrigued her and she wanted to know more. Also, she had nothing else to do.

"Um...Yeah. I do," Peyton muttered.

"Let's get a coffee," the woman said. She extended her hand. "I'm Andrea."

"Peyton," she said, shaking the hand of the relative stranger before they started towards the coffee shop at the next corner. They walked in silence, and Peyton was wondering why the hell she was doing this.

Andrea bought them each a coffee and they sat at the back of the virtually empty cafe.

"OK," Andrea said suddenly. "I know I probably sound completely insane to you, but every once in a while I get these...oh, I don't know...premonitions?" She paused to gauge Peyton's response, but her face hadn't changed. "Well anyway, I just had one about you as you were walking past me. If it makes you feel any better, I actually have my own PR firm and I'm totally stable."

"Alright," Peyton said.

"Alright? Usually people throw things at me or call me crazy," Andrea said, narrowing her eyes.

"I found out I was adopted when I was 17 and my birth mother showed up on my doorstep posing as a journalist doing a story on me. Then I found out she was a recovered drug addict, then she died of cancer just after I got to know her. But not before she tucked a note into an old record telling me I had a brother, who I _thought_ I found, but the guy ended up being a psycho stalker who attacked me. Twice. My _real_ brother is an African American Marine," Peyton explained while Andrea nodded through her confusion. "You'd have to do a lot more for me to think you were insane."

"Good to know!" Andrea laughed.

"So tell me about this premonition," Peyton said with a smile. There was something about Andrea that she found...calming. It was as if the two could actually be friends.

"Well, right before you passed me, your phone rang but you didn't even look to see who it was and you didn't answer it. Then I saw a man's face as he put a ring on your finger."

"Oh," Peyton managed. She didn't know what else to say.

"So I don't know if you're in a relationship, or if the face I saw is even anyone you know. But you should probably know that I'm never wrong. I've never been wrong," Andrea said sincerely.

"Well, what did he look like," Peyton asked. She was a little scared to hear the answer. Would she hear a description and see that face in every man she saw?

"Well, he was handsome," Andrea said with a laugh. "Strong jaw line, kind of soft pink lips. His nose was a little upturned, but in a cute way. Dark blonde hair. But what was most obvious were his eyes..."

"Intense crystal blue? Looked like they knew too much?" Peyton finished.

"Yeah," Andrea said, tilting her head in confusion.

"Lucas," Peyton whispered.

They sat in silence for a couple minutes with Peyton trying to digest what she'd just been told.

Her and Lucas hadn't spoken in 5 years. They'd broken up when she got a permanent job in L.A. and told him she wasn't returning to Tree Hill. She didn't think he'd want to end things, but he had. According to him, there was too much distance between them and it was just too hard for him to love her like that. He wanted everything with her, and if you asked him, she was being stubborn by not returning home. They ended things less than amicably. They were both heartbroken and bitter and angry, so neither would budge and just admit that they loved the other.

But now, she didn't even know how he was, save for what she heard from Haley and Nathan. She knew he was coaching the Ravens. Any time he had a new novel out, she'd buy it, but never read it. They just sat on her book shelf, tucked among the rest of the authors she loved, most of whom he'd turned her onto.

"So who's Lucas?" Andrea asked. "The one that got away?"

"Yeah, something like that," Peyton responded with a weak smile.

"So...um...who called?"

Peyton looked into her new acquaintance's eyes and felt her own widen as she reached for her bag, rummaging for her phone. She opened her missed calls list and could have sworn her eyes were deceiving her.

_Lucas Scott_

She felt the blood drain from her face. Why had he called at all, let alone at that moment? Andrea must have noticed the lack of colour in her skin.

"What?" she asked worriedly.

"It was him," Peyton said. Their eyes met over the table. "We haven't spoken in 5 years."

"Oh," the woman replied. "Well go call him back! Here's my card," she said, sliding the small piece of paper across the table. "Let me know how it all turns out."

"OK," Peyton said with a smile. She got up, said thank you, and raced out of the coffee shop.

A million things were running through her head as she made her way back to her apartment. The least of her worries was how Andrea's mind picked up on the premonition just as he had called her. More important was why he was calling? She couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong. Not calling for 5 years, then calling out of the blue? She was certain it was bad news.

She sat on her couch with her phone in her hands for about a half hour, afraid of what was about to happen when she finally got the nerve to dial. She went through a checklist in her mind of all her friends and what had to be wrong for _him_ to call, not someone else. She realized that the more she sat and thought about it, the more worried she got, so she finally just dialed the number. Her heart almost stopped at the first ring, but she willed herself not to hang up.

"Peyton. Hi."

The sound of his voice made her breath catch in her throat.

"Hi," she said softly.

"I uh...I know this is going to sound nuts, but I just had a really weird dream and I had to make sure you're OK," he said, worry apparent in his voice.

"What?" she asked confusedly.

"I know we haven't spoken in a long time..."

"5 years," she offered.

"Yeah," he whispered. "I'm sorry. I just...had a really bad feeling and I had to call."

"It's OK." This was turning out to be the strangest day on record. "What was this feeling?"

"I don't really know, Peyton. I just had this dream and all I saw was your face and you were crying," he explained quietly. "I woke up feeling like...like I had to call you."

She couldn't speak. She wondered if his dream was the same as Andrea's premonition. She knew that if she ever married Lucas, she'd cry like a little girl, though she'd never admit that to any one. While she sat thinking, she completely forgot she was on the phone until his voice pulled her from her thoughts.

"Peyton?"

"Yeah. Sorry. I just...today's been a really weird day and then you call and we haven't spoken in 5 years and...yeah, I'm just a little overwhelmed."

"I'm sorry. Maybe I shouldn't have called," he said sincerely.

"No! No, it's great to hear your voice, actually." Suddenly all she wanted was to be standing in front of him, looking into those blue eyes, and smiling at him, thanking him for worrying about her.

"Yeah, you too," he said. She could hear him smile.

"So how are you?" she asked. "Nathan told me about the State Championship. Congratulations, Luke. That's great."

"Yeah," he laughed. "It was pretty cool."

"Did it feel as good as the first one?" she asked. She had a flashback to that moment; the feeling they all had when the buzzer sounded and the confetti rained down on them in celebration.

"Nothing feels quite as good as the first one," he said softly. The line went quiet, as though he was remembering that moment too. "I've been thinking about you a lot, Peyt."

She froze at the use of her nickname. She hadn't heard it in so long that it almost took her to another life time. When she didn't speak, he continued.

"I miss you," he whispered, almost as though he was admitting it to himself, and to her, for the first time. "All these things keep happening that I wish you were here for."

His admission made her rethink everything. Staying in L.A., coming to L.A. in the first place, breaking up with him, letting him be so angry, not talking for 5 years. All these things suddenly felt like all the worst possible choices she could have made. There was nothing in that moment more important than him. Maybe there never was.

"I miss you, too," she said softly.

"You do?" he asked. There was shock in his voice, as if he didn't believe that she'd ever miss him like he missed her.

"Of course, I do, Lucas." She looked over to her bookshelf where his four published novels sat untouched. "I miss how we used to be."

"We were happy, weren't we?" he asked, needing her confirmation that she felt the same about them.

"Yeah, we were," she admitted with a smile. She missed that. She missed this. Just being able to talk to him and feel 'them' again.

"I want that back, Peyton." His statement shocked them both. He didn't know where it came from, but he knew it was the truth. There was a moment of silence on the line and he felt he'd made a mistake by blurting out his feelings. "I'm sorry."

"No," she said, maybe too quickly. "Don't be."

"I know it sounds crazy, but...I don't know," he said, shaking his head. He didn't know. He didn't know why all of a sudden he was feeling the way he was feeling.

"What about your girlfriend?" she asked. Haley had told her that he had been dating his editor, Lindsey for the past two years. She had been happy for him, but there was a part of her that was jealous that he'd moved on and she still hadn't been in a serious relationship since they'd broken up.

"You um...you haven't talked to Nathan or Haley in a while, have you?" he asked with a slight laugh. "Or read my new book, apparently."

"No, I haven't. What?" she asked. She looked to the bookshelf again. _The Comet_ sat there, the photo of the River Court at night staring back at her. Where they grew up. Home.

"Lindsey left me," he said.

"What? She left you? Lucas, I'm so sorry." And she was. She wanted with everything in her, for him to be happy. "Tell me what happened."

"It's um...it's a long story," he chuckled. She read and edited the book without a question about its content. Until she found a photo in his drawer of him and Peyton locked in an embrace next to her car. She'd told him that she couldn't be with him when he was still writing about someone else - the girl he'd vowed to always love, all those years ago.

She knew that was his way of sidestepping the request for information, so she didn't push the issue.

"So you don't even read my books?" he teased, laughing at her.

"I buy them, Luke. They're all on my bookshelf," she informed him. "I just...can't bring myself to read them. But I'm so proud of you, Lucas."

"You don't know how long I've waited to hear you say those words," he said with a sigh. "I'm proud of you too. Haley's told me about all the great stuff you're doing. I bought the Low vs. Diamond album the other day, and there you were in the liner notes, head of A&R. Peyton, that's great."

"It should be, shouldn't it?" she said, trying to convince herself.

The truth was, she'd had a lot of great things happen. She'd _made_ a lot of great things happen. Yet she still felt completely unfulfilled. Like there was something missing. And it became evident then, that _this_ was what was missing. This feeling. Lucas.

Another moment passed before either of them spoke, but it wasn't awkward. It had never been awkward for them when they were together but not speaking. They just existed in the silence.

"Are you happy, Peyton? he asked. He felt he already knew the answer.

"I miss you," she repeated softly. She knew he'd hear in that phrase what she really wanted to say. That she hadn't been happy without him for the last 5 years. That she couldn't be happy without him, and that hearing his voice now was bringing a calm to her soul that she hadn't felt since the last time they spoke.

"If I told you to come home, would you do it?" he asked quietly. Tentatively. Hesitantly. He was terrified of what her answer would be.

"Are you telling me?" she asked.

"I think I need you, Peyton."

"You think?" she inquired with a laugh. She tried to lighten the mood, though her heart was beating rapidly in her chest at his prior statement.

"Why did we break up?" He asked the question knowing he was to blame for their split. He knew that if he'd just swallowed his pride that they would still be together. He knew that.

"I've been trying to figure that out for 5 years, Luke," she said. She knew it was an accusatory statement, but he'd been the one to end things. He was the one who couldn't understand her need to forge her own way.

"I'm so sorry, Peyt." He was defeated. He knew he'd been wrong. "I just...I didn't know how to do it, you know?"

"So you just decided not to?" she asked. It was a terrible thing to say, but she didn't care. She wanted him to know that he'd hurt her as badly as he had.

"I was young and stupid. I thought you were picking your life over me," he explained.

"_You_ were my life, Lucas. I needed you, and you just...you walked away from me."

"And you think I don't know how selfish that was?" he asked. He tried not to get angry, but he was. He was angry at himself, not at her, but he knew it was coming out in his voice. "I spent two years in a relationship with an amazing woman. She was perfect, Peyton. But she wasn't you."

"You know, Luke? I've heard that before," she spat back.

He didn't say anything right away. He knew she was right.

"That was a long time ago, Peyton," he finally said softly.

"Yeah it was," she agreed. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean for that to sound..."

"It's OK. I just...You remember the summer between junior and senior year? Everyone else was gone and it was just you and me."

"Of course I remember," she said.

"We were best friends, Peyton." He reminded her of the fact, though he knew he didn't have to.

"I also fell in love with you, Lucas," she countered.

"I know," he said quietly. She'd told him that before.

Suddenly the space between them began to feel heavy. Weighed down by time and distance and feelings felt so long alone. She wished she was 18 again and he was only a few short blocks away, and that she could tell him to come over and he'd be in front of her in a matter of minutes. She realized that this conversation, talking to him and hearing his voice, brought all the feelings she'd been searching for, for the last 5 years.

"You never answered my question," she said after a few moments.

"What question?" he asked.

"Are you telling me to come home?" She held her breath waiting for a response. She wasn't sure what he wanted him to say. If he said he wanted her to go back to Tree Hill, she'd have to quit her job and start her career all over again. But if he told her that he'd been kidding, or that she couldn't risk her job, her heart would break all over again.

"Well, I know you, so I know there's no _telling_ you anything," he said with a laugh. "But I need you. And I'm sick of feeling like letting you get away was a mistake. I want to fix it."

She could hardly believe his words. He'd just voiced exactly what she'd been feeling.

"Fix what?" she asked.

"Everything. Us. My heart..." his voice trailed. "I bet that sounds lame."

"No, Lucas, it doesn't."

He was quiet again. There was an unspoken connection between them in that moment, that they both felt the same.

"Come home, Peyton," he said quietly.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **OK, since you guys are amazing and wanted me to continue this, I've come up with a few things...It'll probably be 4 - 5 chapters total when it's done. Here's Chapter 2!

**--**

Two weeks had passed since her strange run-in with Andrea, and her conversation with Lucas. She spent those two weeks in a whirlwind of emotion. Fear. Anger. Anticipation. Unrest. Stress. Love. Nostalgia. She felt it all - intensely. Her and Andrea had met a couple times to talk, and Peyton's original assumption had been correct. They had a lot in common. Andrea was into music, and her firm represented a lot of people in the industry. They talked about their favourite albums and artists and, of course, their romantic histories.

The two weeks had crawled by, but now she was on a plane to North Carolina. She'd taken a Friday off and was headed 'home' for a weekend, if she could even call it home any more. She and Lucas had traded a few emails, both protecting their hearts and hopes by keeping contact minimal until they were face-to-face. He'd refused to let her stay at a hotel, though that's what she had originally proposed. She insisted that she at least sleep in a separate room. She wanted this time to talk about their issues - really talk. She knew that if they were sharing a bedroom - and a bed - that they wouldn't do much talking. She also hadn't wanted him to tell anyone she was going to be there, for fear it would raise too many questions, but he told her that Nathan and Haley would know something was up, and she knew he was right. Truthfully, she wanted to see them. It had been too long and she missed them desperately, especially lately.

Sitting on the plane, even in first class, was uncomfortable for her. She just wanted to be there. 5 hours was too long to wait. She tried listening to music, sleeping, watching a movie. Nothing worked. She was restless the entire flight and worried and anxious about seeing him again. She was completely unsure of what was going to happen. Would they fall back into 'them' immediately? Would it be awkward at first, or entirely?

She tugged at the cord of her earphones and turned off her iPod as she exited the plane. She saw him through the crowd before he saw her. She wasn't sure why she was surprised, but he looked damn good. He was just in a white tee shirt and dark jeans, but he somehow made something that simple look amazing. She noticed the stubble on his face and remembered the weekend they spent together before she left, when she told him he wasn't allowed to shave - she liked him to look a little rugged.

His eyes fell upon her and he felt his breath catch in his throat. Her hair was the first thing he noticed. The curls he'd come to love were gone, but the soft wave of her now longer hair suited her and made her look more womanly. She wore a basic black tank top and tight jeans tucked into a pair of black boots. She looked incredible, and he wondered how she could have spent the entire day traveling and still look that way.

He smiled as she walked towards him with a nervous look on her face.

"Hey," she managed. The confidence she'd carried in L.A. for the last 5 years had all but disappeared as she stood in front of him.

"Hi," he said. He pulled her into a tight hug, not because it was a fitting greeting, but because he wanted to. He needed to feel her in his arms again. "You look beautiful."

She pulled away and offered a smile. "You too. I mean...not beautiful, but...good."

He laughed and took her bag from her as they began walking through the airport to leave. Her nervousness was radiating and he knew he had to calm her. She walked a few paces in front of him, so he leaned forward and whispered in her ear. "Just breathe, Peyton."

His words, and the sensation of his breath on her skin calmed her immediately. He could still read her every emotion, she was sure. When he placed his hand on her back to guide her through the doors of the airport, she felt herself revert back to the girl she knew she was. It was just Lucas. The boy - now man - who'd seen her cry countless times and knew her better than anyone. She relied on their unspoken connection and just...relaxed.

Once they were in the car, he just sat and looked at her for a few moments before turning the key.

"What?" she asked with a laugh.

"Nothing! Just...this is kind of crazy," he pointed out.

"I know. I had a 5 hour flight to think about it," she joked.

He steered the car out of the parking lot and onto the road. He couldn't help but feel like this was how it was supposed to be - her next to him as they drove with the windows down into the town they grew up in.

"You should see the room you have," he said with a grin. "It's better than any hotel in town."

"Oh yeah?" she asked, smiling in return.

"Yup. If you're lucky, it might even come with breakfast." She laughed that spirited laugh of hers and he felt his blood run a little warmer.

"I know I just got here, but would it be terrible if I had a little nap?" she asked timidly, scrunching her nose as she made the request. She was worried he'd be disappointed.

"Of course, Peyt. You can have anything you want," he said vaguely. He meant it. He'd give her anything.

They chatted about her flight and their last few days since the last emails they'd exchanged as they drove to his house. When they pulled into the driveway, she was flooded with memories of the house in front of them. Good and bad instances that had taken place years before.

He jumped out and grabbed her bag from the trunk as she stepped out of the car and made her way up the steps to the door to his room. He unlocked it and turned the knob, signaling for her to enter first.

"Wow. This is different," she said with a smile, her eyes surveying the space.

"Well, the mural of the River Court and Tar Heels posters don't exactly scream 'I'm a semi-successful author'," he pointed out, making her laugh. "Come on, I'll show you to my mom's room." He paused for a moment, prompting her to look at him with confusion. "OK, that just sounds weird."

"Yeah, well, as long as she's not in there, it's not weird," she teased.

He lead her down the hall to where she already knew they were going. She knew this house like it was her own. The bed was made up with darkly coloured linens and perfectly placed pillows. He'd clearly put a bit of effort into making the room comfortable for her.

"Well, I'll leave you to get some rest. I'll be in my room if you need anything," he said.

She placed her hand on his arm just as he was about to turn and leave. She put her arms around him again in an embrace that was much less awkward and more personal than the one they'd shared at the airport.

"It's really good to see you, Luke," she said softly. She felt him take a deep breath, and she wondered if he, too, was relieved that the discomfort of her visit was fading.

"You too, Peyton," he said, pulling away and smiling at her.

He left and closed the door behind him, leaving her in the empty room. She sat on the bed and looked around again before unzipping her boots and pulling them off her feet. She pulled back the covers and slid her legs beneath the material, laying her head back on the pillow and closing her eyes.

She lay for a while, unable to sleep. She tried her hardest to fall into a slumber, but knowing Lucas was in the next room made it impossible. She wanted to be near him. She wanted him to nap with her. It had been something they both loved - falling asleep in their clothes and in each others' arms.

She finally stood from the bed and walked quietly towards his room. She leaned against the door frame and watched him as he lay on his bed, holding a book in front of his eyes. He didn't notice her there until she spoke.

"Whatcha doing?" she asked quietly. He lowered his book to see her standing there, looking adorable with a little grin playing on her lips.

"Just reading," he replied with a smile. "You're clearly not napping."

"Couldn't sleep," she admitted. "I thought maybe I'd lay in here with you...if that's OK."

He smiled and closed his book to place it on his bedside table. He patted the spot next to him and said, "Of course it's OK."

She walked lightly to the bed and lay down on her back, throwing him a smile before turning her back to him and closing her eyes. He just watched her for a few minutes until he convinced himself that it would be alright if he curled up to her and draped an arm over her. When he did, she sighed her contentment and he leaned forward to kiss her cheek.

"Not wasting any time, huh Scott?" she teased.

"You're the one who couldn't stay away," he pointed out. They chuckled together and she intertwined her hand with his. She wasn't sure why she did it - they should have been taking things painfully slow. But somehow, this felt too right.

They fell asleep together for the first time in years, and when they awoke, he was laying on his back with her curled into his side. He ran his hand over her hair and turned his head to look at the clock.

"What time is it?" she asked groggily. Her hand ran up his stomach to rest on his chest.

"Almost 7:30," he said with a chuckle. "We slept for like, three hours."

"What can I say?" she said. "You make a good pillow."

He chuckled and kissed the top of her head. "What happened to separate bedrooms?"

"We still have them," she informed him as she sat up. "I just felt bad leaving you all alone so soon after getting here."

"Whatever you say," he chided, making her roll her eyes. She pulled her hair up and quickly slipped the elastic from her wrist to hold it in place. He just stared at her with a grin as he watched her.

"What?" she finally asked.

"Nothing," he started. "I just can't believe you're here right now."

"I know it should be kind of crazy, but it really doesn't feel like it, does it?" she asked.

"No. It feels...nice," he said with a smile. She responded in kind.

"You know what else is nice? Food," she said, making him laugh. "Does Nat's still have the best pizza around?"

"Yes, and I have them on speed dial!" he said excitedly, reaching for his phone.

"You are such a bachelor!" she teased. He dialed and placed an order for delivery and she sat there, impressed that he still remembered her favourite toppings. Since when are pizza toppings romantic? She wasn't sure, but it was true. Something about his memory for the details made her smile. No one since him had bothered to notice.

"So listen, I told Haley and Nate that we'd go there for dinner tomorrow night. I hope that's OK," he said.

"Oh, yeah, for sure. I want to see them," she insisted, putting his mind at ease. "What did you tell them about this weekend?"

"I um...I said that you were coming for a visit and after extensive questioning by my best friend, I finally convinced her that no, we're not back together, but that we wanted to see each other."

"And Haley settled for that answer?" she joked.

"I know. It's a miracle that she didn't beat more out of me," he laughed. "So, what does Peyton Sawyer want to do for the rest of the evening?"

"She's thinking this is kind of nice, actually," she admitted.

"Wow. Here for only a few hours and you don't want to leave my bed," he said with a grin.

She tilted her head and raised an eyebrow. "Actually, I was thinking of putting on my pajamas and we could just talk."

"Depends on what kind of pajamas you're slipping into, how much talking we actually do," he said suggestively.

"Lucas!" she shouted.

"I'm kidding!" he insisted. "Unless I'm right..." She slapped his arm and he raised his hands to surrender. "OK! Talking it is."

She shot him another look before standing and heading back to 'her' bedroom. She pulled out a pair of black pajama pants and the satin camisole she'd packed, and changed quickly. Just as she pulled the shirt over her head, a photo on Karen's dresser caught her eye, so she want to take a closer look. She picked up the wooden frame and held it in her hands, smiling as she remembered the day that had been captured in the photo. It was a couple weeks after Lily was born, right before Peyton left for L.A. She was holding the little girl in her arms and staring down at her sleeping face, while Lucas looked at Peyton longingly. She wondered a few things: why had Karen framed the photo, and why had Lucas left it out for her to see?

Still clutching the frame, she walked out of the room and saw him in the living room with two wine glasses in his hands.

"Lucas," she said softly as she walked towards him.

"Hey," he said, as though he hadn't just seen her 5 minutes earlier. He'd just set down the glasses when she put her arms around him. "What's this?" he asked.

"What's this?" she echoed as she pulled away, gesturing to the frame in her hands.

"Oh. Yeah. I just love that picture," he said with an innocent smile.

"Me too," she said quietly. He tucked a loose lock of hair behind her ear and she looked up at his face again. She should have known that if she was alone with him, that she would want to kiss him. When his hand rested on her cheek, she moved closer to him and he placed his other hand on her hip. They were only inches apart when the doorbell rang, and Lucas cleared his throat as if trying to rid himself of the thought of what they were about to do.

She breathed deeply as he payed for their dinner and walked to the couch and sat down. She took a seat on the floor across from him, leaving the coffee table between them as he doled out a couple slices for her.

"Sorry about that," she said, pouring them each some wine.

"Peyton, you do not have to apologize," he said with a chuckle. "I'm just sorry the delivery guy interrupted us."

She could feel the blush creeping to her cheeks. What was it about Lucas that made her feel like she was a teenager again? She secretly liked that feeling. It made her feel young and alive and less cynical than she really was. It made her feel like love might just be enough, even though so much had happened in the last 5 years to prove to her that it wasn't.

They ate and talked and spent the next hour sitting with a few feet of space between them. The tension was palpable and they were both anticipating what was going to happen later in the evening. Or what could have happened if they hadn't been interrupted.

When they were done their dinner, she got up to clear their plates, and her head. She walked to the kitchen and placed the dishes in the sink, then rested her hands on the counter and hung her head. She felt like things would be so much easier if their connection had faded over the years.

It hadn't.

He walked up behind her and when she didn't move, he knew she was stuck somewhere in her thoughts. He snaked his arms around her and rested his head on her shoulder.

"What's wrong?" he asked softly.

She turned in his arms. "Nothing. Just...I feel like I'm 18 again."

"In a good way, right?" he asked, taking her hands in his.

"Yeah, in a good way," she said with a smile.

"So, if you're 18, that means that we're dating and I can kiss you any time I want, right?" he asked, smirking, thinking he was clever.

"Right," she said. "But if I'm 18 and you're still 23, then that makes you a really creepy old guy."

"Ouch," he said with a laugh. Before he could protest or come up with a witty remark of his own, she'd pressed her lips to his in the first kiss they'd shared in years. She pulled away and rolled her eyes at the grin that was plastered on his face. "Guess you like older guys, huh?"

"I think I want to be 23 again," she said with a laugh.

"And why's that?" he asked. He'd stepped away from her for no reason other than being so close to her was just too difficult. With the proximity they'd had, he knew things would go a lot further than a semi-innocent kiss.

"Because if we're 18, that means that your mom is in the next room and we have to follow Karen's rules," she said, taking another step towards him.

He was shocked. He wasn't sure why. Maybe it was because he'd spent two weeks trying not to get his hopes up or expect for this to happen. He hadn't wanted to rush anything or have her feel like he was pressure her. But if she was willing, he wasn't about to say no. He'd only spent a few hours with her, but he now knew for certain what he'd thought for the past couple months, and what everyone around him had told him. He was in love with her.

She was standing in front of him waiting for a response. When she didn't get one, she took it as a rejection.

"Or, I could just head to bed and see you in the morning," she said, walking past him. She wanted to close the door and forget she'd said anything, because clearly the words she'd used were not the right ones.

"Wait." He grabbed her elbow and pulled her towards him. Their bodies crashed together clumsily and he wrapped his arms around her waist. "Peyton," he whispered, looking into her eyes. He kissed her like he'd wanted to kiss her all day. The kiss was full of want and passion and need. He needed to kiss her. He was sure that if he hadn't kissed her like that, that he wouldn't have been able to sleep.

They stumbled into his bedroom together, with his arms around her and her hands on the back of his neck, before they finally pulled apart. They were both breathing heavily and his lips had found their way to her collarbone. He gently slipped the strap of her camisole off her shoulder. Her hands tugged at the bottom of his tee shirt and he moved away from her so she could pull it over his head. He pushed her backwards toward the bed and they lay down with him on top of her.

"Peyton," he said softly, pulling back from her so he could look into her eyes.

"What?" she asked, worried that he'd changed his mind.

"I love you." He said it as though he'd just realized it. Maybe he did. He knew he loved her. He knew he always had. But in that moment, he realized just how truethe statement was.

She looked up at him and he noticed her eyes soften. She could only stare. She couldn't bring herself to say the words back, but she knew that hearing them from him made her feel incredible. She couldn't say them back because she knew how much it hurt the last time she'd said them. Suddenly it felt like all that pain, all that hurt that she'd felt for the last 5 years, _couldn't_ be erased by hearing those words. She always thought that it would all just go away if he told her he loved her.

"Lucas," she whispered. His lips were on hers before she could say another word.

He didn't want to hear the rest, either way. If she said she loved him, everything would get way more complicated than it already was, with her based in L.A. and their history and all the problems they hadn't even thought of discussing yet. And if she said she didn't...well, he didn't know what he'd do. He needed her to love him.

So he kissed her.


	3. Chapter 3

She lay awake the next morning just watching him sleep. Their night had been amazing, and it felt so good to just be with him again. To be around him and take in that aura that he had always carried - the calming effect he had on her. He made her feel at home and comfortable, and she'd missed that.

But those three words were stuck in her mind. She didn't know whether to be happy, or angry, or terrified. She'd waited so long to hear them, and he'd finally said them. But after everything that had happened, how could he just blurt it out like that? Did he think that everything was magically going to be fixed just because he'd admitted to loving her? And the terrifying part was that she felt it too.

She hadn't told him about Andrea or the premonition, and she'd tried to push it to the back of her mind. She didn't want to get her hopes up, and she didn't want to rush into anything just because Andrea, or the universe, or wherever that image had come from, had told her that her and Lucas were supposed to be together.

She heard him inhale sharply, and she knew he was awake. She thought for a moment about pretending to not be watching him, but after the night they'd shared, she figured they didn't have any secrets.

He rolled onto his side to face her. "Morning," he said with a satisfied smile.

"Hi," she whispered.

"How long have you been awake?" he asked, taking her hand in his.

"A while," she said. She leaned in and placed a light kiss on his lips.

"God, I missed you," he said with his eyes closed.

They lay in silence again. She'd never felt such conflicting emotions all at once. They'd never needed words to convey how they really felt. But for some reason, she was compelled to explain herself or at least ask if he meant what he'd said. Maybe he just got caught up in the moment and in seeing her. Maybe he didn't mean it the way it sounded.

"Luke, about what you said last night..." she couldn't look at him as she said the words, because she was afraid she'd see emotion on his face that she didn't want to. But at the same time, she didn't know what she _did_ want to see.

He ran his thumb over her knuckles. "Peyton, I said it because I wanted you to know, not because I needed to hear it back."

She went quiet and he wasn't sure what that meant. He knew he shouldn't have told her on the first day they were together, but he didn't want to waste any more time. All he'd thought about for the past month and a half was her. All he'd wanted was her, in front of him, so he could make her see that the time and distance and problems between them all meant nothing in comparison to how he felt in his heart.

"Well, it's 10:30, and we can't stay in bed all day..." he started, turning to face her.

"We can't?" she interrupted. She kissed him again and a moan came from deep in his throat.

"Well, when you put it that way," he said with a chuckle. "Actually, I have a practice at 1:00, remember?"

"Oh! Right," she said, laughing. "Well, then maybe I'll stay in your bed all day and you can do whatever." She waved a hand dismissively and rolled away from him, inadvertently pulling the sheets off his body.

He ran his hand over her hip and leaned into her, leaving a trail of kisses on her bare shoulder to the back of her neck. "Still stealing the covers, I see," he whispered. "I'm gonna go shower."

He got up and started towards the bathroom. She turned onto her back to watch him leave, and she knew that everything was much more complicated than either of them were letting on. Problems aren't fixed overnight, and old grudges aren't forgotten. Yet somehow, when they were together, neither of them asked questions or brought up old issues. She hadn't decided yet whether that was a good thing or a bad thing.

Once she heard the water start, she got out of the bed and grabbed her clothes off his floor before making her way back to 'her' bedroom. She sat for a moment, just listening to him hum a melody she didn't recognize, and she decided to join him. She walked into the bathroom but he didn't notice her there until she pulled open the shower curtain and climbed in with him. He could only stare at her. His throat went dry and his eyes darkened at the sight of her.

"What?" she asked innocently. "We should be conserving water right? Just doing my part."

"What happened to staying in bed all day?" he asked, as water ran over both of them, wetting her hair and making her skin glisten.

"Just not as fun without you there," she said with a smile.

--

After they had dressed and gotten ready for the day, they sat in the kitchen with coffee and bagels, though it was closer to lunch than it was to breakfast by that time.

"So listen, I think Haley and Jamie are coming to practice today. You should come and hang out. Then we could just head to their place after," he said.

"That sounds perfect," she replied.

An hour later, they were walking into the gym, and she was overcome with nostalgia. She saw the State Championship banner from the year he, Nathan and Skills carried the team to the win, and the one from the previous year that the three coached. She saw Nathan's jersey number retired, and the empty space on the wall where Dan's used to hang. Being in this building made her realize how many major events this school had held for all of them.

"Wow," she said, smiling at him. "I feel like I should be wearing my cheerleading uniform."

"Well, you wouldn't hear any complaints from me," he laughed, earning him a playful swat on the arm.

Their semi-innocent flirtation was stopped by Haley's call of Peyton's name echoing through the gym. They turned to see the Scott family walking towards them, all three of them smiling.

"Hey Haley!" she said happily, wrapping her friend into a hug, then Nathan put his arms around both of them. "It's so great to see you guys," she sighed.

They stood chatting for a while, until the players started trickling into the gym, and Haley and Peyton moved to the bleachers and watched as Nathan and Lucas ran drills with the team.

"I still can't believe you're here!" Haley exclaimed. "It all seems so...out of the blue!"

"I know. It's been a little crazy," Peyton said with a smile. "But it's really good to be back."

"Luke looks happy," Haley pointed out, nodding in the blonde's direction. "He's had a rough few months with the whole Lindsey thing, and her not coming back."

Peyton didn't know what to say to that, so she offered a weak smile in lieu of words.

"I guess when he went to New York, she told him there was never going to be another chance for them," Haley said sadly.

Peyton's heart fell. He went to New York to see her. When? Why hadn't he told her about that? He'd told her about the breakup over dinner the night before, but he hadn't mentioned that he'd tried to win her back. It shouldn't have bothered her, but it did. She couldn't understand why he'd go to New York and fight for Lindsey, but he wouldn't fight for her. She couldn't ask Haley any of these questions, because as far as she knew, Peyton was only there for a friendly visit, not to fall in love with Lucas again.

Too bad she already had.

The two women sat in silence for a few more minutes until Haley asked about Peyton's work. They spent the rest of the hour falling back into the friendship they'd had years ago. They whistled and cat-called from the stands when Nathan removed his shirt to play on the 'skins' team to replace a player who'd been injured the week before. Lucas looked over to where they were laughing and relished the sight of his best friend and the woman he loved getting along so well. This was how he wanted things to be.

--

Over dinner at Nathan and Haley's, Lucas watched as Peyton interacted with his family. Her innocent jokes and ribbing with Nathan, her easy conversation with Haley, and her caring and sweet attention on Jamie. He had never been more certain that he wanted her to be part of this family. Nathan noticed his brother staring as Peyton talked with Haley, with Jamie on the counter between them, and nudged Lucas. When the blonde looked at him, Nathan just shook his head and smiled. He knew what was going through his brother's head.

She caught him staring more than once, and each time he'd just smile at her, completely unfazed that he'd been caught. She'd spent the entire day with his family and it just felt..._right_. It felt good to be around them. It was comfortable. Nothing was forced and it felt like she hadn't been away for 5 years. And it scared the hell out of her. It shouldn't have been that easy. It should have been awkward and she should have faced questions about her intentions and her reasons for being there. She knew she was feeling too much, too soon.

And the thought of him and Lindsey wouldn't leave her mind. As soon as they stepped back into his bedroom, all she could see was him with another woman. She didn't know what Lindsey looked like, but she didn't have to, to know that she felt completely snubbed by him. It was silly. She was the one there now with him. His hands were on _her_ waist, not someone else's, but she couldn't shake the feeling that she was somehow his consolation prize. In her mind, it was though he'd tried to win someone else over, but had lost, so he brushed himself off and went back to her.

He kissed her forehead and pulled away to smile at her.

"I um...I'm pretty tired," she started. "I think I'm just going to head to bed."

"Oh," he said, trying to hide his confusion. She was walking towards his door and it was clear he'd be sleeping alone for the night. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah!" she said quickly. "I'm just really worn out. Jet lag or something." The excuse sounded lame even to her. She turned to look at him, and the expression on his face told her that he knew something was up.

"Peyton," he said, tilting his head.

"Luke, I really just don't think we need to rush anything," she said, knowing that the night before was rushed and frantic, but also really great. "I think we should just go to bed, then talk tomorrow before I leave."

He just nodded. He couldn't tell her that was a good plan, because nothing had sounded worse to him. He just wanted to be near her, but he also wanted to respect her wishes, so he smiled in her direction and watched as she disappeared into his mom's room and closed the door behind her.

She stood for a few moments with her back to the door. She felt like crying, for some reason. The past two weeks had been such a whirlwind. She'd been so blinded by him since she had arrived in Tree Hill, that she hadn't stopped to think that maybe this was all just an illusion. Maybe he only wanted her because she was there to have. Maybe she only wanted him because it was comfortable. Maybe she was hanging onto the memories of what they used to have, and not realizing how many things had changed. Things were different.

She shed her clothes, but suddenly her body temperature had increased and wearing the pajamas she'd brought seemed suffocating to her. She noticed one of his old faded tee shirts hanging in the closet, and took it from its hanger to pull it over her head. It smelled like him, and she breathed in the fabric, desperately hoping she hadn't made a mistake by coming back. Or by not being next to him right now.

As soon as her head hit the pillow, she began to silently cry. She'd perfected the art as a child, not wanting her father to know when she was sad, because she knew it would break him even more than he already was. With Lucas, she'd always been able to sob. Big, ugly sobs would escape her body because she knew he was there to comfort her. But now, she didn't want him to know that she was upset and uncertain. She didn't even really know why she was crying, and she knew he'd ask and she wouldn't have an answer. So she lay still, letting her tears wet the pillow.

As soon as the door had closed behind her, Lucas began replaying the days' events in his head. What had happened? Had he said or done something to upset her? What was with the sudden change of heart? He pulled on a pair of pajama bottoms and pulled his shirt off before getting into bed. He just lay on his back in the darkness thinking of how close she was. He had a terrible feeling deep in the pit of his stomach that she'd realized she didn't want to be with him. He lay awake for what might have been hours, just breathing in the silence.

Peyton had finally stopped crying. She looked over at the clock. 1:43. Suddenly, it was as if the loneliness was consuming her. The man she cared more for than anyone in the world was a few mere paces away, and she was here alone. He was in a warm bed 2 doors and about 30 feet away. How was it that she'd slept without him for 5 years, but now that seemed an impossibility?

She quietly got up and pulled the door open as gently as she could. She noticed his door hadn't been shut, which she found odd, but was thankful for. It was then that she realized she was only in a pair of boy cut underwear and his tee shirt, but as quickly as the worry entered her mind, it left. She stood in his doorway and gently tapped on the frame.

His head snapped up to see her. He was sure she was trying to torture him - using her legs as cruel and unusual punishment. Taunting him with something he couldn't touch.

"Hi," she said. Her voice was so quiet that he could barely hear her.

"Hi." He propped himself up on his elbows and stared at her. The only light was coming through his window from a street light. Before he could say anything more, she was walking towards him. She settled herself on top of him and kissed him.

"I'm sorry," she said, slipping off him and running her hand down his neck to rest on his chest.

"For what?" he asked, confused.

"A lot of things," she whispered. She could feel the tears threatening to fall again, so she pulled away to slide under the covers. After she'd composed herself, she curled against him. "I don't know what to do."

"About?"

"I want to be here, Lucas. But so many parts of my life are in L.A." she explained somberly.

"Just follow your heart, Peyt." he said softly. He knew when she came into his room through the darkness, and when she said she wanted to be there, that he had her. He knew that telling her to follow her heart was a thinly-veiled way of telling her to leave L.A. and come home. To him.

"I came in here, didn't I?" she attempted to joke, but he knew on some level that she was serious. He pulled her closer and they just held each other until they found sleep.

--

When she woke up the next morning, the bed next to her was empty. It took her a couple moments to clear herself of the fog she'd woken up in. She heard some noise coming from the kitchen, so she rose from the bed to see what he was doing out there. She already had some idea. She leaned against the door frame again, watching him take a sip of coffee as he flipped the pancakes that were cooking on the stove.

"Well, well. Lucas Scott making me breakfast? What did I do to deserve this?" she asked jokingly. She moved toward him and accepted the mug of coffee he had held out for her.

"Well for starters, you flew across the country to see me. Then, you came into my room in the middle of the night looking like that," he said wit a smirk, pointing to her sleep attire.

"Aha," she laughed as she took a seat at the table. "I should have know it was all about the legs."

"Baby, it's always about the legs," he teased, pressing a kiss to her forehead, and setting two plates on the table and sitting to join her.

They chatted and joked while they finished their breakfast, before moving to the couch in the living room, where they sat facing each other. Each of them were nursing their second cup of coffee.

"Ugh," she groaned. "The last thing I want to do today is sit on a plane for 5 hours."

"Well," he started, "You don't have to."

"What? Lucas..."

"You could stay," he interrupted. "You could stay here for a couple more days at least."

"Luke, I have to work," she informed him.

"I know, but..." his voice trailed as he searched for words. He took the mug from her hands and placed it on the table next to him. He placed her hands in his. "Three days isn't enough."

She tilted her head and smiled at him. His words were sweet and sincere and she loved him for that. "You are something else, you know that?"

"What?" he asked with a laugh. "What does that mean?"

"It means this weekend has been really great," she started, her eyes meeting his. "And I wish I could stay, but I really can't."

"OK. But when are you coming back?" he asked hopefully.

"I don't know, Luke." She didn't want to lie to him, but she didn't realize that the words she'd said were the worst possible ones she could have chosen.

She ignored the look on his face because she had to. She couldn't look at those eyes, holding sadness and hurt and disappointment, and still do what she had to do. She glanced at the clock instead of at him.

"I have to get dressed. I have to be at the airport in a couple hours," she said, standing from her place and leaving him sitting there, stunned and heartbroken.

He had thought they'd made progress. He thought they'd had a good weekend and had begun to mend fences. He thought she was in love with him, too. One of two things was going on: either she was scared, or this weekend had just been a fling for her. He knew her well enough to know it wasn't the latter.

He got up and walked towards the closed door she was on the other side of, and thought for a moment about knocking, but knew that he wouldn't see anything he hadn't already seen if he just opened the door.

She was just pulling her shirt over her head when the door opened. She spun around to face him.

"What's going on, Peyton?" he asked, his voice laced with dismay.

"I'm just getting ready to go," she said innocently.

He let out a sigh and rolled his eyes. "No. What's going on?" he repeated.

"I don't know. I wish this was easier," she said, looking to her hands.

"It is easy," he said softly, hoping to convince her.

"It's not, Luke!" she shouted. She hadn't wanted to get upset, but he didn't understand the inner conflict she was dealing with.

He stood for a moment just looking at her. For him, it was simple. He wanted her.

"I think you're scared, Peyton," he stated.

"Hell yes, I'm scared, Luke!" she shot back, meeting his eyes with her own. "You don't know how much it hurt last time. You broke my heart! You know how hard it is for me to just try to set that all aside and come back to you? But I'm putting myself out there."

"Are you? Because you've been hot and cold with me. What's up with that, Peyton? You fly out here, we sleep together, have a great day, then you pull away and tell me you're not sure when - _if_ - you want to see me again. You seem to want to make this difficult. What are you so scared of?" he asked, taking a step towards her.

"You! I know what you can do to me. I know how much I wanted you to call me 5 years ago and tell me you couldn't live without me. But you never fought for me, Lucas! You fought for Brooke, and according to Haley, you've spent the last 4 months fighting for Lindsey. But you never fought for me."

"I didn't think you needed me to." He was taken aback by her statement. They had never needed such grand gestures - their relationship had always just been there.

"That's the problem," she said, shaking her head. "You knew I loved you enough that you didn't have to work for it. You knew I was more invested than you, and you liked that. So you didn't even try."

"Didn't try?" he asked dubiously. "I wrote two entire books about you! About us! Not that you'd know, because apparently, you don't care enough about me to read them. You're the one who left me, Peyton, not the other way around."

"Oh, we're back to that, are we?" She ran her hands through her hair in frustration. "Two weeks ago, Lucas, you told me what a mistake that was. Now you're throwing it in my face again? I might have left, but you cut the cord and you know it."

"You didn't believe in us! You didn't believe in me. You didn't think I could finish my novel or get a coaching job. You ran away when it got too hard, Peyton. It's what you do."

It was all she could do not to slap him. She wanted to. She wanted the release of marking his flesh with all the anger he was creating in her with his words. Instead, she felt her eyes tearing up. The one person she thought understood her, she was starting to think never had.

"I loved you, Lucas," she said softly as the tear slid down her face. "I guess that was just never enough for you."

"Yeah, well maybe _I _was never enough for _you_." He pointed at her for effect. He needed to occupy his hands to keep himself from reaching out and wiping her tears away.

She couldn't speak. She had nothing to say to him. She wanted to scream at him and tell him that he was always enough, but she knew he wouldn't believe her no matter how much she tried to convince him. So instead of speaking, she just shook her head to express her disappointment.

"Maybe this weekend was just wishful thinking," he finally said. "You obviously don't feel the same way about us as I do."

"How do you feel, Lucas? Really. Because you can write all the books you want, and say that they're about us. But what you write and how you act are two totally different things," she said. She was so defeated now that all she wanted to do was lay down and cry. She'd lost. She'd lost him, and she'd lost her reasons for coming here.

"I feel like you don't want me. I feel like I felt 5 years ago when I realized that you will always choose everything else over me. Your friendship with Brooke, Jake, L.A. Everything else is more important than me, right?"

His words couldn't have been further from the truth, and that filled her with rage and heartbreak. She'd lost her friendship with Brooke so they could be together. She'd left Jake so she could admit to herself who was really in her heart. She'd just left L.A. so they could see if there was something still there. He was only seeing what he wanted to see.

"Fuck you, Lucas. Maybe if you got off your high horse, you'd see what I've been trying to say to you for the past few days. But if you haven't realized it, then I'm not going to say the words again," she said angrily. "I'm done fighting for you."

"You know what? Maybe that's for the best."

She laughed and shook her head in his direction, then grabbed her bag and stormed past him and out the door of the room. He tried to follow her, but she made her way to the front door and slammed it behind her.

She pulled out her phone and dialed the only number she could think of.

"Hey Peyton," Nathan said, surprised.

"Hey. Would you be able to drive me to the airport?" she asked, anger still evident in her voice.

"Um...yeah, I can. What happened?" he asked, knowing something must have gone really wrong for her to need a ride from someone other than Lucas.

"Just...don't ask," she said, drying the last of her tears with the back of her hand.

"OK," he agreed. "Where are you?"

--

Nathan had driven Peyton to the airport pretty much in silence the entire way. He could see that she'd been crying, and he knew that whatever happened, it wasn't good. She insisted he drop her off at the curb, and that he didn't need to park the car and wait with her until they called her flight.

He hopped out and pulled her into a hug. "I'd say 'see you soon', but I doubt I will be, right?"

"I don't know Nate. I...it's a mess," she said, hanging her head. "I'll call you, OK? Thanks for the ride."

"No problem. We love you, you know that," he said with a reassuring smile.

"Thanks. I love you guys, too." She gave him one last smile before he nodded and she turned to walk into the airport.

She was heartbroken again. She knew that this would be the last time she was home in a long time. L.A. was home now. She pulled out her phone and texted Andrea, _'You were wrong.'_

Part of her wanted him to come running through the crowd and take her in his arms, convincing her that she was all he wanted, and he'd take whatever she was willing to give. She sat for an hour until her flight was called, scanning the crowd for his face. He wasn't there.

She made her way towards her gate and didn't look back again. For the first time since she knew him, she felt like her and Lucas were finally and truly over.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** Here's the last chapter!! Hope you enjoy, and thanks so much for your reviews!

**----**

Three weeks passed since her weekend with Lucas, and Peyton really, really wished she could have just gone back to the way things were before they spoke again. She thought about him constantly, and wondered if he was thinking about her. She wondered if she'd overreacted, or made a mistake by getting so upset with him. Maybe they _were_ supposed to be together. But he hadn't come after her. He hadn't followed her out of the house, or to the airport. He hadn't called or written since she left. She'd blown it.

She'd called Nathan as soon as she landed to let him know that she'd gotten in OK, and he said he'd talked to Lucas. She told him she didn't want to talk about him any more, and that she had to go. Any conversations they had after that, Lucas wasn't mentioned.

For his part, Lucas was a mess. This time, it hurt him more than the last, because he felt there was nothing more he could have done. She had left and he had tried. He'd told her everything he wanted to say, and she had still left. His new routine consisted of going to practice, hung over from the night before, spending the day in his house alone, then going to Tric or some seedy dive bar at night. Haley and Nathan were beginning to get really worried. When he even answered his phone, he would grow angry if they asked him how he was. They obviously knew, so why would they ask?

Nathan knocked gently on the door to Lucas' bedroom. He had left Jamie with Haley in hopes of having a heart to heart with his brother. He walked in the room to find Lucas sitting in front of his computer, surprising him that the blonde was actually awake and in the state of mind to be able to type.

"Hey," Nathan greeted him with a nod.

"Hey Nate."

"You ready to talk about it yet?" the brunette asked, taking a seat on the end of the bed.

"About what?" Lucas asked, his eyes fixed on the screen in front of him.

"About what you've been self-destructing over for the last three weeks," Nathan said matter-of-factly.

Lucas' eyes finally met his brother's. He was expecting Haley to pry, but not Nathan. The two always has an agreement that they'd each let the other come to them with problems - they didn't ask. It was then that he realized how pathetic he must have looked if his brother was bringing it up.

"I ruined everything, Nathan," Lucas stated.

"Yeah, you kind of did."

"Wow. Thanks for the sympathy," Lucas deadpanned.

"I don't know what to say, man. She's not doing so great either," Nathan said. He immediately kicked himself for mentioning how she was. He knew that Peyton would be pissed at him if she knew he had said anything. He knew her, and she'd want to appear stoic and unaffected.

"You've talked to her?" Lucas asked urgently.

"Well, yeah," Nathan said, shaking his head slightly. Of course he'd talked to her.

"What'd she say?"

"She said everything got really messy, but that she didn't want to talk about it," Nathan explained. "She told us not to talk to her about it. But I can tell by the sound of her voice that she's doing as badly as you are. Maybe less hard liquor, though."

"Has she read the book?" Lucas asked.

"What? I don't know." Nathan was confused. Why wouldn't she have read it yet?

"Tell her to read the book," Lucas begged.

"Luke, man..."

"Nathan, please. Tell her to read the book." His voice was desperate and insistent. Nathan just nodded. He was beginning to get the feeling there was a lot of the story that he didn't know.

----

Nathan called Peyton the next day, after giving himself enough time to figure out a way to even get her to listen to him. He knew that at the first mention of Lucas' name, she'd shut down or yell or hang up on him. He decided to call her office number. If she was at work, there would be minimal cussing or shouting, so he thought that was the safest bet.

"Good morning, Peyton here," she said, using her best professional tone. She'd just gotten to the office and didn't want to have to deal with anyone yet.

"Hey Sawyer, it's Nate," he said.

"Nathan. Is everything OK?" she asked. She just assumed that if he was calling her at work, that it was an emergency.

"Not really. Have you read the book, Peyton?" he asked. His tone suggested he was angry, but he wasn't. He was just urgently trying to get these two fools who'd always been in love to realize that they were supposed to be together

"What are you talking about?" she asked. She knew the answer.

"Don't play dumb with me. Have you read the book?" he repeated. There was silence on the other end of the line, so he continued. "Read the damn book, Peyton."

"Nathan..." she attempted, but he interrupted.

"No. Set aside your pride and your broken heart, and read the book," he insisted.

"I'm not going to, Nathan," she said defiantly.

"Why the hell not?" he asked. Now he was angry.

"Because! His words don't really matter when he has made it clear that we aren't meant to be," she explained.

"That's bullshit and you know it," he said harshly. "You're both miserable right now and you both know why. If you two could just forgive each other already, we could all get on with our lives and just be happy." He paused to let the words sink in. "Peyton, Haley and I want you to be part of this family. But you have to let him love you."

She sat in silence for a few moments. Family. That's what she'd longed for. She wanted for so long to be a Scott. Family dinners and Christmases. Birthdays and celebrations. Part of her thought Nathan was right. But part of her - the stubborn part - wanted to just forget about Lucas and the pain he repeatedly was able to cause her.

She sighed before she spoke softly. "I'll think about it."

"Good. Call me later," he said. She could hear his smile and picture it, even from 3,000 miles away.

Almost immediately after he hung up the phone, Nathan received a text from Lucas.

_"Going to L.A. Have to see her. Talk to you soon."_

"Dammit," he muttered under his breath.

This was either going to go really really well, or terribly badly.

---

All Peyton could think about all day was reading the book that was sitting on the shelf in her apartment. She remembered its cover, but that's all. She hadn't read the summary, nor had she opened it. But after Nathan's call, she'd been having an inner battle - going back and forth between thinking she had to read it, and thinking she didn't want to. She'd put it off, afraid of what the words would mean, but maybe she couldn't put it off any longer. Maybe she had to know. If Nathan was intervening, it meant that she needed to do it. She didn't know if his writing would change anything about the way she felt. In fact, she felt so strongly that she was almost sure it wouldn't.

At 4:30, she had a meeting with two of the junior A&R reps, Molly and Liz, to schedule studio time for a couple of their bands. Midway through the meeting, they heard a commotion outside the closed door, but ignored it and kept working.

About two minutes later, the door flew open and Lucas walked in, with Peyton's assistant trailing behind him.

"Peyton, I'm sorry. He just barged in..." the woman started.

"Luke, what are you doing here?" She had wanted to see him for three weeks, and now he was standing in front of her, and all she wanted was for him to leave. It was all too much to deal with.

The three witnesses exchanged glances. Molly and Liz looked at each other wide eyed, then back to Lucas, implying without words that he was attractive, and wondering who he was. Peyton's assistant shook her head and mouthed another apology and went back to her desk.

"I'm fighting for you. I...I'm doing whatever I have to. Tell me what I have to do," he said from his place just inside the door.

"For starters, you can stop being an ass," she stated matter-of-factly, with a fake smile.

"I can try," he laughed.

"Also, you can get out of my office," she said seriously. Her two young, female employees looked at her like she was crazy. "Lucas, I can't do this right now."

"Actually, I think we've got he gist of things, Peyton," said Molly.

"Yeah, we're good!" Liz added as they both stood from their seats.

They left the office and Lucas smiled his thanks at them on their way out, shutting the door behind them.

"Peyton, please," he pleaded, walking towards her desk. "Tell me what you need from me."

"I just did. Clearly you're not willing to do either," she said dryly.

"I will do anything other than leave this office right now," he said. He sat across from her and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees.

"You just don't get it, do you?" she asked, dropping her pen on her desk.

"I get it. I'm a jerk. I hurt you. You're scared that I'll do it again. But I promise you I won't."

"You already did," she said, staring into his eyes. "And I don't think you can fix it this time."

"I have to. I have to be able to," he insisted.

"I'm telling you that you can't. There's nothing to fix," she said, looking down at her hands again.

"I don't believe that. Not for a second. You wouldn't be so upset if you didn't still care about me," he said smugly.

"Lucas, it's not that easy," she said, shaking her head.

"It is! Just...If you love me, it's that easy. And I think you love me." His voice was desperate. He couldn't lose her. Not now. Never again.

"I..." She was cut off when he stood and walked towards her, kneeling at her side and turning her chair to face him.

"Tell me what I have to do," he pleaded.

Looking into his eyes was breaking her heart. There was so much pain and anguish there that she knew she was the cause of. But he hadn't seen her for the last three weeks. She'd had the same look.

"I think you should go," she said softly.

"I'm not going anywhere," he insisted defiantly, placing his hands on her thighs.

"Then I will," she said, standing and walking around the other side of the desk and away from him.

He caught up with her at the door and stood in front of it, blocking her from leaving.

"Dammit, Luke!" she said in a harsh whisper. He placed his hands on her hips as she stood in front of him.

"Neither of us is leaving until this is resolved," he said softly.

"Lucas, it was resolved when you decided_ for_ me that I didn't want you. It was resolved when you didn't come after me when I left your house and when you told me to stop fighting for you," she said accusingly.

"But I'm here now telling you it's not finished. You know it's not finished, Peyton!" he said desperately.

Before she could protest or tell him all the reasons she didn't want him there, he'd leaned down and crashed his lips onto hers. The kiss was intense and frenzied and before she knew it, their tongues were moving together. He spun them around so her back was to the closed door. His arm snaked around her back and he pulled her closer to him so her hips were flush against his, eliciting a moan from her. He didn't want to remove his lips from hers for a few reasons. One, he just wanted to kiss her, and two, he didn't want to give her a chance to tell him to stop. His hand moved up to graze the area that he knew always drove her crazy - just where the band of her bra sat on the side of her torso.

They parted then with the need for air, and he looked into her eyes, which had darkened significantly. She was breathing heavily and she threw her head back and rested it on the door.

"Ugh," she groaned. "This is so messed up."

He couldn't help himself and chuckled at her. Her face was flushed and he could tell she was suppressing a smile.

"What is messed up?" he asked. He ran his thumb over a patch of bare skin he'd created on her hip by moving her shirt slightly.

"You coming here and doing this and...I really want to hate you, Luke."

"Please tell me there is a 'but' at the end of that sentence..." he said, wincing slightly.

"You should go," she said, moving away from him and turning her back on him.

"Peyton," he tried to protest.

She walked to her desk and pulled her keys out of her bag, extending them to Lucas. "Here."

He looked at her completely unsure of what she was doing.

"Take them," she insisted. He did as he was told, and she turned to her desk and began write something on a sticky note. "This is my address. I'll be home in a couple hours and we can talk."

He nodded gently, took a deep breath, and left her office. He would take what he could get.

She was actually done her work for the day, but she sent him away because she just needed time to think. She was getting what she wanted; he was fighting for her. But somehow, there was a part of her that still felt like it wasn't enough. Her pride didn't want her to forgive him.

She sat in her office for another hour just listening to music and trying do figure out what her heart wanted.

What she wanted, was him.

The next hour was spent wondering if it was worth it. Apologizing, forgiving, loving him. What if it was all too hard?

---

Lucas had been alone in Peyton's apartment for two long, excruciating hours. He'd given himself a tour, then tried to watch television. He walked aimlessly through her place, opening the fridge for no reason. He cast his eyes over photographs of her with people he didn't know. The apartment didn't feel like her. The walls were plain white and lacked character. It felt like just a place she kept her things, not her home. It wasn't inviting or warm or..._Peyton_.

He'd stood on the balcony, looking out over the busy street for a while. He was thinking of her and him and them. What if she really didn't want him back? What if he had gone to L.A. and it was all for nothing? What if every single loving word he said to her meant nothing when compared to all the ones he'd said to hurt her? He wracked his brain trying to think of something he could do to show her how desperately he loved her.

He had just walked back into the living room when the door opened and she walked through. He didn't give her a chance to say anything before he started talking.

"I've been sitting here waiting for you and trying to think of something - some gesture - just anything that I could do to show you what you mean to me. But we don't need that. We don't, Peyt. And I know you said you wanted me to fight for you and I will. I'll do whatever you tell me to do. I love you," he said hurriedly. "I'm in love with you."

She stood for a moment, as though his words had knocked the wind from her.

"Oh," she said, deadpan.

He looked at her and he wasn't sure whether to be insulted, or to laugh.

"Are you...Is that a joke?" he asked with a furrowed brow. He remembered the night in her bedroom when he'd uttered the same single syllable.

"Oh, God!" she shouted, collapsing onto her couch in a fit of laughter. "I had blocked that memory! Wow, you're a jerk." She was still laughing, so his heart didn't break at the last word.

He sat next to her and draped his arm over the back of the sofa and just smiled tentatively at her as she continued chuckling.

"You were such a jackass! _'Oh'_," she quoted, mocking his low voice. "I said I was in love with you, and you said 'oh' and that you wanted to be friends, and left!" She was still smiling at him.

"You caught me off guard!" he said with a grin. He wasn't sure if what he was witnessing was a break down or not. He was hoping the outcome would be favourable for him.

"I know. And I never really knew how you felt in that moment until just now," she explained, her laughter finally dying down.

"Peyton, you knew all the things I just said. How could that have been a surprise?" he asked.

"Yeah, sure I knew them 5 years ago. But I didn't know them with you flying to L.A. and storming into my office, or standing in the middle of my living room blurting out the words before I even took off my shoes," she explained.

"Here," he said, taking hold of her legs. He pulled them onto his lap and slipped off the heels she'd had on all day. He began gently massaging her feet. "Better?"

She sighed and closed her eyes, and realized that she'd never had this. She'd never once come home to him before. She liked the feeling.

He wanted to speak, but he didn't know what to say. He just stared at her, sitting there with a content smile on her face and her eyes closed. God, he loved her.

"How did we get here?" she finally asked quietly, her eyes still closed.

"I took a plane, then a cab from your office," he joked.

"Ha, ha," she said dryly, finally looking at him. "Wait, you took a cab from my office? It's only 5 blocks away!"

"Yeah, I couldn't figure out why the cabbie looked at me like I was nuts," he said with a laugh.

"Sorry, I should have told you," she said with a smirk. "But I meant - how did we end up like this?"

"We've already established that," he stated. "I'm an ass."

"Lucas, this isn't all your fault," she said, shaking her head. "A lot of it is," she teased. "But I don't know why I can't just let go of everything and just believe you."

"I understand," he said softly.

He did understand, but he didn't want it to be true. He wanted her, however unrealistic it was, to just forgive him and tell him she loved him and that nothing else mattered. They sat for a few moments in silence, each trying to guess what would happen next.

"Nathan called me today," she said.

"Yeah?" he asked.

"He yelled at me."

"What?!" he asked angrily. That wasn't what he'd asked of his brother.

She just laughed at his reaction. "He basically told me I was being a stubborn bitch and told me to read your book."

"He did not call you a bitch," he said with a tilt of his head.

"No, but it's Nathan. He and I learned how to argue with each other in high school. He knows how to call me a bitch without actually calling me a bitch, and I know how to make him realize that I'm always right. Because I'm always right," she said with a cocked eyebrow.

"Sure you are." He rolled his eyes and she chuckled.

"I'm not going to read it," she said seriously.

"What? You're...you...Why?" he stuttered. "Fine. I get it." He stood from the couch and reached for his bag. "Fine, Peyton. Don't read the book. But you know? We just had a great little moment there where everything was good. And stupid me, I start to think that maybe, by some strange fluke, you are starting to let me in again, and..."

"Luke!" she shouted, getting his attention and stopping his rambling. She stood from the couch and walked so she was a few feet in front of him. "I'm not going to read the book."

"Yeah, I got that. I'll see you whenever," he said, turning away from her.

"I'm not going to read it, because I don't care what it says!" she said. Her words forced him to turn around again and look at her, pain and insult on his face. To him, it felt like she was just twisting the knife. "Luke, I don't care what the book says because you coming here is enough. You saying you'll do anything for me is enough. You are enough."

He stood for a moment, dumbfounded by her words and the weight they carried. "So you decided to give me a heart attack?"

She laughed and walked to him, taking his bag from his hands and dropping it to the floor. "Come here," she insisted, putting one arm around his neck, and grabbing his collar with her other hand.

He smiled against her lips when she kissed him.

With her arms around him then, she felt like everything had fallen into place. She needed him. She couldn't be without him, no matter what she tried or how long she tried. She needed him. She needed this feeling.

He smiled down at her and saw the sparkle in her eyes again - the glint of gold that had been missing when she left Tree Hill three weeks prior, and again when he'd left her office. He realized that he was responsible for it being there. And he wanted it to always be there.

"Come home, Peyton," he said quietly.


End file.
